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He looked the shy girl up and down. "So you're my partner for this dumb project?" He asked with a snarky tone. "Yes. I got stuck with the dumbest kid in class for a project worth half of my god damned grade. So yes, we are partners" The girl rolled her eyes and erased any thoughts he had of her being shy. "Listen bitch, you did not just call me dumb" He stepped closer. "I think I fucking did you selfish bi-" He cut her off by slamming her into the wall. "You will not talk to me like that" He leaned in close to her. "What if I do? You're just a weak little boy" She spat back as the room erupted into clapping. "You two did very well! Almost as good as myself if I do say so..." The professor spoke in his usual booming voice. "Thank you professor!" The boy smiled brightly as his girlfriend Melanie blushed deeply beside him. "No but of course my boy! You my dear Levi, are destined for greatness!" The professor boomed once again, smiling at the pair. The bell rang at that moment, releasing the people within, the way acting releases emotions.
This is low-key trash lmao, anyways, I'm not sure if I should make this a book or just leave it how it is as a oneshot. Lemme know!
Kiss Kiss,
Kelsey
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Ᏼᥲɾꪮᥒꫀ᥉᥉ᏙᏴꪮᥒᏴꪮᥒ 🍬
This is good!!
I only have two critiques:
1- I can tell that it's probably an extract style piece, but maybe a little more confirmation of context would be nice?? E.e. I pieces together that they're likely in a drama class, but a confirmation might be nice, but that's up to you.
2- Secondly, I'd refrain from using the same adjective to describe the same thing twice in such a short piece. If it were say, 3-5 paragraphs longer, using the word 'booming' twice might not have sounded as repetitive, but as it's a paragraph and a bit, perhaps try using a different adjective or an adverb to spice it up a little
E.e Resounding, Sonorous (An online thesaurus can give more suggestions!)
But again, it's up to you.
I hope this helps!!
Thx sm Love, this will help :)
by Kelsey Monet; ; Report
Np!!
by Ᏼᥲɾꪮᥒꫀ᥉᥉ᏙᏴꪮᥒᏴꪮᥒ 🍬; ; Report