i hope you choke tonight, grandma

loose lips under mistletoe dripping poison. i hate my family, no, i hate you, i hate the falling snow and the clop of reindeer on roofs. i'll take my fucking coal and burn you alive, motherfucker. let's see who's on the nice list this year. i have no need for your decency, for your modesty, for your golden pearly necklace. where's the charm in an ugly sweater when it has 500 identical twins all hung up for $60 each at belk? you're a coward if this is your idea of cozy, of family and cheer. this is a disgrace. merry christmas, i could care less. happy fucking hanukkah.