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I told the person who wanted to date me and my S/O no bcs I can't deal with it and that I'm not poly. THEY WERE ONLY GONNA DATE ME FOR MY S/O. I emailed them last night and they asked if they could date my S/O and I could date him but the two of us did not date. Isn't that technically cheating?? i wanna be with my S/O and I don't want this other person to date him. I don't want to lose him but I want him to decide. It sounds like I'm being jealous but it's just my attachment issues.
IDK anymore
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Cranky Old Witch
I agree with Lil-Hentai.
Although I'm frighteningly monogamous, I have plenty of poly friends and let me tell you, just being in a non-poly relationship is managing three relationships.
You with yourself.
You with your s/o.
You with the entity that is the two of you together.
All tales care and feeding.
Adding another person in whatever ever capacity and you're now managing six relationships.
Even without any jealousy issues, that's a lot and not everyone is built that way.
Lil-Hentai-Boi
I don't think it's your attachment issues speaking in this situation.
Since you are not poly and only want your S/O then of course you wouldn't want a third person added to the relationship and neither would you want your S/O to date anybody else.
However, in poly relationships, everybody involved doesn't have to date each other but they do at least know about each other though if that made things a little more clear. (Not poly myself by the way but this is what I have heard.)
You should talk to your S/O and tell them that you are not comfortable with the idea of turning the relationship into a poly one but that they get to choose what they wanna do but it might mean you don't wanna be involved but let's hope for the best though!