:(

Is the universe laughing at me?

Am I comedy? or an experiment? entertainment?

Can anything happen for me in this time of desperation? I feel so lost.

My options have run out, and I don't know what else to do. 

Growing up I used hope as a shield from leaving this world. 

I put myself in a third-person Point of view of my favorite fictional characters I related to, telling myself "why would you think you deserve to die when you KNOW they don't".

I can assure its nothing to do with deserving.

Its entrapment! constant Cacophony

It IS a solution, more so the last resort to peace.

I do care about  myself, I'm doing all i can.