you (are) the last good thing about this part of town

soooo. i havent posted it awhile. i know. im one of those people who just kind of comes and goes internet presence wise. 

things are going... well, life-wise, i think? i've got a boy in my life now. a sweet, caring, boy. a boy who wants me and wants to want me and wants me to know he wants me. and as much as i still care about my ex and understand all his issues and stuff and as much as i really hate actually admitting how shitty he was romantically because i hate admitting to myself how in deep i was and how just. awful someone i care about kind of was, its like. crazy to be with someone who actually wants to be here, you know? like. i dunno. i feel like i kind of got to the place where i just had been burnt enough times over the past year that i decided to just assume that i meant less to people than i would typically assume initially. and now its the opposite.

now its like, here's this guy who i spent months convincing myself didnt really like me. here's this guy who's so emotionally awkward that i wouldn't have really known he actually liked me. here's this guy who was always down to hang out with me, who always responds to my texts with something clever, who just. makes me feel okay. and then he moved away to college, and there was still something... there. like, the lengths he went to silently show he cared, and the fact that i know its not even him trying to show he cares, but him simply. caring. is something else all together as well. i don't know.

man. this was meant to be more than a sappy ramble about some guy. some silly nerd of a guy. some silly nerd of a guy who wears the silly necklace and bracelet i made him every damn day. some silly guy... sigh. okay. i should just hit post and sleep.