I'm so fucking stupid

why did i ever think you would change?? why did I believe it??? i'm supposed to be good at recognizing patterns and yet! i thought this time would be different. i'm so stupid. I'm so naive. I guess I deserve this, then.

what does a deer think, when staring into headlights? it finds itself looking into a pair of eyes, much bigger than it's own, their harsh glow reflecting off of the ground. does it realize, in that moment, that these are the eyes of a thing of metal, a thing that brings crushing death? Or does it think, while it's legs are locked and it's body stays perfectly still, that it's caught a glimpse of something holy?

...

does the deer deserve its fate? It made the mistake of trusting something, something new, something different, something comforting and warm. it stood still, perhaps to hide, perhaps to be seen. did it deserve to die?

it's neck was flattened by your tire, and it bled out on the harsh pavement. in the morning, it will disturb someone's ride to work. maybe it will become food for some other pitiful creature, not fit for life in a man's world. maybe someone will mourn.