The small things

I write when I overthink. And I can't seem to stop overthinking.

If you know me...no you don't

The small things

You think of her. Admit it.

That's why her card from a year ago is on the side of your desk.

Facing your bed.

Maybe you placed it there when you were still dating

And forgot about it.

I honestly don’t care about that.

Maybe it's a coincidence that when you name your favorite classes,

It's only the ones with her.

But that's normal, so what you dated, you're just friends now.

Maybe you offer her your drink first, out of habit?

But that's none of my business. 

I guess I over reacted when her twelve year old brother said she was jealous of us.

She’s close to me, she would tell me if she was, right?

Maybe I only felt like that because he said he saw you two kiss.

I trust you when you say I was your first.

Okay I will admit I was a bit jealous when you almost cried over her birthday card for you.

I was upset. I couldn't think of anything good enough. 

The only word I saw written was ‘angel’. 

Kinda weird, that's your new nickname for me.

I like it, although I can’t help but think of the card every time.

Maybe I was more upset that she thought to make you tea,

I wish I had thought of it first. God why didn’t I? What is wrong with me?

I understand when you say, ‘you don't have feelings for her’.

But why can’t I have these small signs of love instead of her?