Your dignity

So, in today’s world, or in any world for that matter, we often find ourselves confronted with individuals who will make us angry; or drained, or try to belittle us in some way. It can be off putting at the least, but I thought that I’d like to share a few thoughts on maintaining balance and integrity in the face of a contentious encounter.

It starts with dignity. We are all born with basic human dignity. Me. You. All people. It is innate to our condition and inalienable. The first step is to remember that no matter who you are or how you make your way in the world, you are a dignified being of light. You can not lose your dignity, though there will be moments when you’ve forgotten it. Your dignity can not be taken from you, though people will try, they can never manage to do that against your will, only you can inadvertently forget it or give it away.

But it is never truly gone!

It is always with you, though sometimes it may be forgotten. Have you felt worthless at times? Have you felt defeated? Have you felt angry? Have you felt like lashing out? You may have forgotten your dignity! But that’s okay! We all forget sometimes. The point of life is not to remain in a perpetually balanced state, but to experience all of the full range of emotions and experiences. As many as you can.

So, what happens if you’ve felt those empty, worthless feelings for some time?  The first step sounds easy, but if you’re out of practice, it may take a little effort. You must remember your dignity. If you can do that, it comes rushing back. You remember that you are a being of light, that you are worthwhile, and that YOUR words and actions can be a reflection of the dignity within.

The next steps are a little more challenging. You must take the first steps in remembering your own dignity, and once you do, and you put it into practice, the next step is to be prepared to face those who would rob you of your dignity. Sounds scary. Also, unfortunately, it is inevitable. This is the world and the full range of people within. You WILL run into to people that, for whatever the reason, will be argumentative, troublesome, needy (in an emotionally vampiric way), and so forth. They may try to rob you of your dignity. But there is good news about this too.

There are incredibly few truly ‘evil’ people in the world. So few ‘evil’ people, I’d guess, that the odds on favorite is that you may never meet a truly ‘evil’ person. Most of the troublesome people you encounter are merely people who have forgotten their own dignity and are lashing out. MOST of the time, they don’t even realize that they are doing it. Could be a crappy day, crappy week, crappy life, who knows? You don’t owe them anything, and you ESPECIALLY don’t owe them the sacrifice of your own dignity. Hold onto it! If you sense that they are trying to take it, be mindful! They can’t take it, but in those moments you may end up giving it away of your own accord and lash out. No, you don’t have to agree with the other person. No, you don’t have to be a patsy to their whims. No, you ESPECIALLY don’t have to lash out and stoop to whatever ever level they are on. It may be difficult at first when you start remembering your own dignity to keep it intact in the face of a challenge like this, but it gets EASIER with practice. You get to understand the feeling of calm from maintaining your poise when others may be falling apart, what’s more, you may even start to see the calming effect it has on those around you. Watch out for ego, watch out for hubris, that can be a loss of your own dignity too, and it can creep up more subtly that you’d expect! Maintaining poise is for you! For your OWN balance, worth, and dignity. It makes you better for YOU, but not better than anyone else! Which leads me to yet one step further. This one is a little tougher, but not as tough as it will sound.

Other people’s dignity.

Once you can remember yours, reclaim it whenever you’ve forgotten it, and feeling pretty centered, it is time to remember the dignity of other people.

Once again in case you got distracted, EACH and EVERY one of us possesses it.

But what about those difficult people?

Yes, they may have forgotten their own dignity in any particular moment. Or week. Or long stretch of time, but YOU don’t have to. Remembering the dignity of another, even in moments when they’ve forgotten, even in moments where they are trying to take away yours, is what truly radiates your inner light outward unto the world. Why bother with someone who has forgotten their own and lashing out at you? Because they are human beings, just like you. They love, laugh, bleed, care, and maybe are sad and lonely. It does NOT mean you have to agree with them, it only means that you recognize their humanity and that you understand that it is every bit as important to you as your own is. It engenders a deeper feeling of empathy, and empathy does NOT have to equal endorsement of their ideas, or state of being.

It is the longer path than responding with anger. Outwardly, it seems less powerful than anger, but it is truly MORE powerful, and requires more strength. It is the kind of notion that allows you to love everyone. To love them for their humanity.

Couple of notes though, you can’t reach everyone and that is OKAY. You might just be the wrong person at the wrong time with the wrong words, but you can still remember their dignity and walk away with your OWN intact and a greater sense of self worth. Even if you didn’t reach them, you may still come to understand more about them and that is incredibly valuable on its own merits. If you do encounter someone you can’t reach, and must withdraw, remember that it is good to love everybody, but sometimes you can only love someone from afar!

Lastly, you will still forget your OWN dignity from time to time. And that is OKAY! We’re all human after all, and I think that is a pretty wonderful thing to be with all of our frailties.  But if you come around later to understand what you may have done, at a time when you reclaim your own dignity, reflect on how you may have treated those around you and maybe make amends. It might even help to restore someone else’s dignity.

Finally, remembering your own dignity is addictive. Remembering it in others is contagious.

I love you all,

Macey