Take Me Under

Now crumbling beneath my feet

Like an ocean storm swallowing me

Dragging me down

Grasping for answers

Yet I found none

Gave my all to what I thought was my forever

Kept fighting for so long, trying to resurface

Every time I did, there was just another tidal wave ready to take me under again

The stormy sea promised clam many times, but the sea is wild and not to be tamed

And yet again time after time a promise of calm seas come

So I stay hoping the last storm has past

But I've gotten so used to the storms and don't believe the calm will stay

What if I'm wrong? What if...

Yet I can't take drowning in this love over and over again

The beauty and chaos of it all is overwhelming it leaves me gasping

This intense love I have for something so unpredictable that can turn ominous at any time with no warning

I feel myself just drifting now, lost and alone trying to make sense of it all

And it keeps beckoning me to return, when all I want to do is swim to the safety of solid ground...

But even that shakes beneath me

I'm at war with my love, with my heart, with my head

The right choice eludes me

Swallowed up again by my love

Disoriented, can't tell which way is up

I just need to breathe, it's all so confusing

I'm getting so tired of the struggle

If only calmer waters really could stay

If only I could believe that the storms were over

But I've nearly drowned so many times

I fear the next wave will kill me

(JULY 23, 2017)