✧ Daily Log — #5

hello again passengers, this is your captain, ace, speaking.

today is the two year anniversary of the death of unus annus. it pains me to say that i forgot about it. i was aware it was happening sometime this week, but it seems to have slipped past me. i'm kind of terrified by that fact. 

i have a very poor memory. without the reuploads and the photos i wouldn't be able to name a single video. i can't remember what happened in most, i don't remember how i was the day the channel was deleted. i want to, i wish i could, but it's all so foggy now.

i know it had an impact on me, the deletion and the channel itself. i think i look on it with such glazed eyes because it was a constant in my life, during a time where everything was so rocky. covid happened and i had to battle the prolonged isolation. i was going through a rough breakup when it had begun, and it was strange because my ex and i used to love watching mark and ethan together.  

less than a month after it had finished, i started dating someone again. it's strange, kind of poetic, that they helped to fill the gap i felt was missing. i was fourteen when unus annus started. i wasn't aware of my place in the world, and i didn't know i was trans just yet. i was simply enjoying myself, exploring the early stages of my identity. i'm seventeen now. i've applied for a job, i finish school in less than a year, hell i can get my license if i want to. 

despite the fact that i don't watch them as religiously as i used to, ethan and mark were a massive part of my life. they were a constant during changing times. i miss them.

on a lighter note, i watched pointcrow's mario party stream today. it was very funny, and i highly recommend taking a look. the production was insane and everyone was absolutely hilarious. bummed willneff didn't win, but he got to meet ethan so that was an amazing compromise!! i made an edit for that too, so i should be okay for a bit. 

that's all for now. much moping around, the usual.

goodnight. this is captain ace, signing off.