my life actually sucks now

well, i guess my life's been stagnant for too long because all of a sudden so many things got thrown at me in October. first, my aunt went into the hospital and she's still staying there today, my dad died at the end of the month and I'm still mourning even though my mom seems to feel it worse and now i have to stay between my nana's (different from my grandma, she died when i was way younger and now i have to remember what it's like to lose someone again) and one of my aunts and maybe another aunt's place soon too. i already wanted to restart my life because it felt like i made so many dumb choices, like not paying enough attention in school and kind of abandoning my online friends that i found out some of them actually cared about me. if i wanted to go back then i really wanna go back now. i just wanna wake up from this like a bad dream, i want to go back and tell everyone what's going to happen so we can prevent it and be happy together again.