One year ago

[TW: suicide]

It was an ordinary day in film class. We had just started a new project, making our own music videos. We were coming up with ideas for what our video should be about and what the background music was gonna be. As usual, I was distracted and going on unrelated websites on my computer. Then suddenly, at 8:36 am, a single, unified conversation filled the room.

We were going to be let out early because a student committed suicide in the bathroom. We even got a message on the intercom about this. And sure enough, we had to go home early. And there would be no school the next day either, though that was because of Veteran’s Day. On the bus ride home, everyone fell silent. No one had any words for what we had just heard. Our parents were also notified of the situation via email. 

When I got home, all I could do was watch/read about happy stuff to cheer myself up. I reflected on my own personal troubles with mental health and suicide attempts. From then on, I decided to value my life and never commit suicide. 

I later found news articles about what happened. The kid was a senior named Nate. He loved the band Queen and building Gundams. He was a loving friend, son, and brother. However, he also had struggles with anxiety. Then one day, it became too much for him to bear. One of the articles implied that he was bullied a lot. 

He shouldn’t have had to take his own life. He had a college scholarship. I never knew him, but this I know for sure: He had his whole life ahead of him. But it stopped short at 17. 

This ordeal also reminds me of how much I hate kys jokes. Everyone pretends to be an advocate for mental health until they get the chance to tell someone to commit suicide over something as insignificant as a cartoon character. The same people who make kys jokes also tend to be the crowd that hates dark humor, but apparently death threats get a pass?? I blame that stupid LowTierGod meme for making it hip, trendy, and socially acceptable to make kys “jokes.” If you make these types of “jokes,” don’t, even for a second, consider yourself an advocate for mental health awareness or anti-bullying, because you’re nothing but a bully yourself.

I hope whoever bullied Nate so bad, that he had to resort to suicide as the way out, regrets what they did for the rest of their life, or is rotting in jail for what is basically manslaughter. The same goes for everyone else who bullied people to suicide. I can only hope now that somewhere, Nate is finally at peace. 

Please don’t commit suicide. You have your whole life to live. And there are people who care about you. Dial 988 if you have suicidal thoughts and you need help.