what am i? a reminder to whom i am

Does any one else forget who they are? or have confusion on what you are? i do, i am. i think i have my self figured out but then i forget things i like, why i liked them, why i dont like them, or if i still like them. Who am i? why am i who am and what am i? i certainly dont feel human, i feel like a creature who just watches, observes, then mimics. ive gotten so used to adapting to how others like me/know me that now i dont even know myself. but i think im finding myself i forget what i look like sometimes, i forget what or how to look like i want. Or if i can look how i want. i wanna look like myself, ..but do i even know who i am anymore? i think i know who i am but i dont trust myself. I am kade, im 14 years old currently, right now i like game of thrones, stranger things, wolves, writing, reading, snakes, wings of fire, twilight and sonic. I have a wolfcut/scene styled hair, its purple, i like it short but im afraid to cut it again. I like sleeping more than being awake but it never feels like i do get the amount of sleep i want. I have a boyfriend, Aspen, i love him but my trust issues have gotten worse with him and im scared we'll break up. I hope we dont. I find geocaching interesting. Ive recently read All The Bright Places, i think its made an impact on me. Mainly because ive actually put faith in something, leave something after you take. I love this a lot actually. I hope a lot more people do it in the future. I also love writing. its one of my favorite things even though i dont do it a lot anymore. but it makes me feel good about myself. its the one thing i have of myself, the one reminder of who, or what i am and was. its a powerful thing, it holds the past and present all just in a few scribbles, words, papers, and screens. I hope that to whomever is reading this you can understand or relate to what ive written so far, to know now that your not alone. Life is full of wonders but those wonders turn into fear, confusion, and frustration. You are not alone. im sure many, if not everyone has told you in your life, but your not alone. Talking to people is one of the hardest but sometimes rewarding things. Do it, go forth with your dreams please, find yourself like im trying to do. You have to reach out, and if you cant, get someone to pull you. If you cant reach, then pull, keep this in mind, it wont be easy, but that makes it so rewarding. Its not the end thats the reward, its what you put into the effort thats an accomplishment. knowing we, as humans, just small ants trapped on earth, can go through and live through so much is powerful. I think that im finding myself, and thats why everything right now is so confusing and scary. but in a way im still happy. thank you if youve read this far. my facebook is Aspyn Williams, please contact me and give me your opinions on this. thank you:)