MYTHOLOGICAL KOMBAT

They say that history is written by the victors. This not the history you know. A man scorned turns into an unlikely quest. 


This story is dedicated to Eric Myers - Learn to read the room! 


Tsoukalos staggered back into his house. After months away at a seemingly endless and pointless war, he was glad to be home. The sight of his wife’s smiling face, a freshly cooked lamb…and wine. Plenty of wine.


For as long as anyone could remember, The Greeks had been at war. An eternal war with barbarians hailing from the far eastern horizon - past what they knew as Hindustan - what we would come to know as India. These barbarians (so the tales went) called themselves Mongols, warriors sworn to their leader, whom they called the Great Khan. The Mongols had finally conquered Sinae, prematurely ending the War of the Heavenly Horses that Sinae had been fighting with Greece. Ironic, really. 


Before he had left, his wife, Phrexia, had said “come back with your shield - or on it.” He came back with his shield, and his spear gilded with numerous silks counting the victories he had helped win - and the number of men he had slain to do it. He now plunged this spear into the ground as he crossed the threshold. There was the smell of lemon and pistachios. His wife’s hair, and the honeyed treat that had brought them together - baklava


She hummed a soft tune to herself, and Tsoukalos thought to surprise her. Months of grueling combat had impressed upon him the importance of maintaining the element of surprise. Thus, when he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck, she gasped, shuddering, and turned around. Then she yelped when she saw who it was. 


“By the gods, Tsoukalos, you scared me!” 


“Hello my love. Glad to see me again?” 


“I--” here she blushed and turned away, attempting to hide her face behind her curtain of silky chestnut hair. “Indeed I am but…” her voice tailed off, and it dismayed Tsoukalos that she could find no more words with which to welcome him home. Then he caught sight of her belly, and his dismay turned to shock, leavened with anger and bewilderment. 


She was pregnant. 


“How long?” Tsoukalos said.This anger was not directed at his wife. He had a vague feeling he knew what had happened while he had been away. 


“Three months. I thought it had been you! By some magic, I was deceived..for after your double left, I saw him change shape into a fox and lope away. A fox as large as a chariot.” 


Tsoukalos’ suspicions were confirmed. 


“I know what I must do.” 


“What?” 


“I shall find Lord Zeus, and I shall strike him a blow. Right in the face. I will take my sword and shield with me, if I must. For it has brought me home to you safely. Thus far.” 


“When shall you leave?” 

“Tomorrow, after daybreak.” 


And so it was. Eos had come and gone. Tsoukalos had gathered his courage, his weapon, shield, and armor in tow. Plus a moonstone medallion charged with his wife’s love for him. Though whenever he kissed it, he could taste her bittersweet anguish. 


No matter what happens, come home to me. Again. And we will raise this child the best we can.” 


Before he left the village, however, he encountered another man. Not so much his neighbor, but a near-stranger he had seen in the agora many times before. Perhaps he was from the far side of the village. Tsoukalos could not know for sure. That said, he carried similar gear as Tsoukalos did. 


“Greetings, I am Fenix. Something tells me, friend, that you have embarked upon a solemn quest. What is your purpose?” 


“Greetings, Fenix. I am called Tsoukalos. My wife has been dishonored by Lord Zeus. She is with child now. His. A demigod. Soon to be within my household. Regardless, the child shall be loved and cherished as mine own.” 


“Fortune favors the bold, then. For I am on a similar task as well. Our goals align. Shall we travel together, then?” 


Tsoukalos allowed him a grim smile. “Two is better than one, in this case. We travel together.” The two men slammed hands and forearms together. A vow that would not be easily undone. 


But as they were about to depart, an enchanting woman in scarlet robes materialized before them. A laugh as gentle as the sun breaking through the clouds escaping form her lips as she came into view. 


“There is something you should know,” Lady Eos chided them. “You will find many allies on this journey, more than you can expect.” 


“All the better then,” Fenix replied. “With an army alongside us, Lord Zeus never stood a chance.” 


“In that spirit, my intrepid travelers, allow me to light the way to your next destination. You will find it two villages over from here.”


Tsoukalos scratched his chin. “Forgive me my impertinance, your grace. But why would you assist us?” 


They heard that gentle, tinkling laugh again. 


“Even the egomaniac King of Olympus needs humbling from time to time. His hubris gets the best of us all.” She kissed them both, deeply and passionately, before they departed. She waved them on, vanishing as she did.   


And so they went, following a trail of delicately-spun light guiding them along the path they needed to take. Once they arrived two villages over, it wasn’t long until they discovered where the trail ended. A humble hut with a harried-looking woman standing outside of it. Furious screeches and squeals that sounded vaguely porcine echoed from within. Unless Tsoukalos missed his guess, the source of the noise was the hoghouse. 


The woman’s eyes alighted on them. “Sirs!” she called to them, her voice overflowing with vexations. “Good sirs, attend me!” 


“What can we do for you, milady?” 


“None of that ‘milady’,” she snapped. Once she recognized their acknowledgement, a rather brusque demeanor came upon her. “My name is Krugia, and my son is the problem. Lord Zeus seduced me and left me with this…monstrosity. I entreat you, come inside.” 


She served them with bread, fish, and olive oil. Plus some salted eggs she needed to have eaten before they spoiled. 


“What service would you have of us, Krugia?” Fenix addressed her, once they had eaten.


“I love my son. He is likely to be my only child. For my husband was lost in the war.” Neither of the men needed to be reminded which war she referred to. “But his…countenance is horrible. Highly aggressive, and half-man and half-boar. Hence why I confined him to the hoghouse. How I wrestled him there, despite his immense strength, I do not know. The unyielding power of a mother in distress, perhaps. Lady Eos whispered to me that your arrival was imminent. So I know of the quest you have sworn to. I would join it, if you would have me.” 


“What would become of your son?” Tsoukalos said. 


“After she kissed me, quite intensely, Lady Eos promised she would watch him. Keep him pacified, however she does. I don’t know.” Before they left, she picked up her recurve bow and a quiver full of white-fletched falcon-feather arrows. She also made sure to equip hardened leather bracers to protect her forearms. 


As they made their way towards Mount Olympus, many and more allies joined their ever-growing adventuring party. It seemed that no hostile beast, creature, or demon would stand against them. At this point, Tsoukalos was confident they could succeed. They had a frenzied army - cuckolded and ravished mortals, bastard demigods feeling spurned by their divine father, and various mythical creatures wearing their grudges like crowns. A mysterious seamstress brought up the rear, providing them with clothes, shoes, and armor as needed. 


Before they could begin the arduous trek up to the summit of Olympus, a localized tempest momentarily blinded and deafened them. 


“How dare any of you tread in my domain without welcome?”


Tsoukalos plunged his spear into the ground in response, grinning. 


“Sire.” 




            






  


  


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Princess Paris ♡

Princess Paris ♡'s profile picture
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Wow!! This was really fun to read!! you should build a collection of them and publish a book of shorts!


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Aw, thanks!

by Lord Byron Silverhand; ; Report

DeryckEleven

DeryckEleven's profile picture

This was a fun read. The Predator arm clasp was a nice touch, too.


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Haahhaha, thanks! That's what I had in mind but I had a hard time figuring out how to describe it.

by Lord Byron Silverhand; ; Report