Once Upon Hell's Dream

       The night is hazy. The stars seem to hide from me and I only hallucinate their glimmer in the night sky. The brisk cold wind brushes my pale skin. The mundanity of fall reminds me of the greater demise I faced. I miss the times before this season hurt what is left of my rotten soul. The rain's peaceful pattern is the least the season can do to calm my racing mind. 

       My balcony brings small solitude. The view contains details to be concentrated on. The way tree branches are bare and the ground is covered with the fragile husk of leaves. They remind me of the evil I have. Their life sucked dry, the beautiful color destroyed. It is the same as I do. I only wish for my blood to be from beauty. Only one beauty truly does. 

      I can only imagine. The sky clears and the clouds part to reveal a sparkling moon. The stars shimmer and whisper the world's wishes into my ear. I listen contently as I rest on the marble. My eyes are heavy from a night of unsatisfactory indulgence. My mouth is dry and I almost cry at the lack of blood on my fangs. They are sharp and hungry. It is not enough to keep my corpse awake. My body drapes on the railing. It slowly falls to the floor. My leg falls out from my robe and my hair splays across and over the edge. This cold stone, it is familiar, it is comfortable. If I could lay here frozen, then maybe it could be my fate. 

      Something soft nudges my corpse. I lift my eyes through the veil of my hair. My vision distorted but I can still see the angelic outline. I do not deserve the visit of an angel. He picks me up anyway and carries my evil being to the grandmaster's bedroom. He lays me on the soft silk sheets caressing my face and brushing my messed hair from my eyes. I look at him with glassy eyes but he stares past towards my condition. He cares for me and what he can cleanse of the hell that I am stained with. My body is laid bare and examined. This angel would never tell me there was something wrong even though the list is endless. I want to reach out. Caress his skin too. It looks soft and toned. Decorated flawlessly and most of all warm. More than anything I am scared he will flinch from my stretch.

      I want it to be safe for him to lay next to me or near me. To see his beautiful wings so close and stroke them as he rests. His gold hair would be glitter in my eyes and I could only stare in awe. I could not sleep only watch to make sure his most peaceful sleep is achieved. Seeing his chest rise and fall with a rhythmic pace could set my own heartbeat right. I could come closer. Hold his warm body to mine and rest for the first time in decades. His heart would be my pillow and his eyes my dreams. 

     Here I am, frozen in my bed. Watched and judged. This warm hand would be all I need to sleep. All I can wish for. 

     My angel, know that my dreams of you could never reek of hell.