gendr rant ? ?

i loveeee presenting feminine but i dont like being feminine? Nor do i wanna be seen as a girl either n i dont feel like one, but i wanna be girly in like a way guys are n i wanna be seen as a guy and be called him n use masc pronouns, but i dont think any1 could take me seriously bcuz of the way i do my makeup n dress,,,like i dont mind if my partner calls me their girlfriend or boyfriend or just partner that doesnt rly bother me much cuz its just a word ina sense? its like so confusing