The Wall

Why is it. it always seems like every time I plan something for my future. It blows up in my face. No matter what I do. Every plan I make. Fails. Miserably. I've learned from every mistake I've ever made. Yet still. I stay unchanged. When I try to accomplish something. Just for me. It. Goes. Wrong. I make amends. I apologize to people because I didnt plan it out properly enough. Or. I make the same mistake. Or I get angry when i really shouldn't Over. And over. Again.

Ive recently come to the realization that I have anger issues. A short temper. Alright, I can fix that i just have to make sure that a lot more htings roll off my back. I just thought I had a bit more of a handle on it then I actually did. 

Fate. And Destiny. Are blocking the path I wish to travel most. all my life they have been kicking me in my balls seperatly. But I got used to it and was able to finally block all their attempts to hinder me. They saw this and decided to tag team me. One holding me down and the other just a kickin away.

Alright. Fine.

I took it. I accepted all of it. And even though I was being handed shit. I was able to somehow mold it into something good. I don't know how. I just know that I was able to. 

I got used to the pain. Made it roll off my back like nothing. Kept going the way *I* wanted to go. not theirs. They also saw this. So they decided to attack something I wasn't prepaired for. Something I thought would never be attacked and was considered a low blow.

My heart.

About two and a half years ago. They started in on me. Beating my chest like a drum. I was winded, but I pulled through. Then. They cracked my sternum. And squezed my heart a little. Not much. But just enough to make it. 

Very. 

Painful.

I got through it still.

So then they deceided to go for broke. And started cutting into it. Little by little. Never cutting anything dead out just to make it all the more painful.

And. Im standing here. Before them. Bleeding from my chest more then I ever have in my entire life. Im pounding against them. Yet. They stand in my way. Like a brick wall. 

Bring me my sledgehammer. 

Sooner or later. Im taking this wall down. And when I do. I will get back what I've lost. What they took from me. 

And nothing will stop me....

Not a thing in this world!