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A whole 6 months have passed. 
I love to air myself here, it's 
almost like a personal journal they'll 
never be able to find.

Catch up? Yeah.. The guy has since vanished.
Typical aqaurius man.
Now I'm obsessing over a scorpio man. yuck.
But I've done a lot better at shutting away my 
feelings with those things. 
Not really obsessed as much as I wish he would just
message me back.. It's been 3 months.

I also began seeing a personal trainer. 
Which really was a big step for me. 
She does it in her home so I don't have to go out
to public gyms. & I love that :) 
No more cigarettes for me anymore. 
3 Weeks are coming up now. I am so proud of myself.

Although there do come times where I'm stuck in tha
one distinctive moment. 
Stuck in place as my body freezes and my eyes swell.
I really can't escape that moment.
But it's almost been a complete year now.
Every step is a stronger one and I am happy
to try and survive this day to day.
Maybe one day I'll trust someone enough to fully
But I feel that may not be for a while..

:) <3 I love you guys 

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