i am cringe, but i am free

i've always assumed i'm the dorkiest person in the room, which used to give me anxiety but now... idk man. fuck it. to exist is to be cringe.

that's my thought today on slowly coming to terms with my imposter syndrome bullshit.

~*~*~

anyway, things are boring right now... weed, work, coding 3 days a week; more weed and coding and Korean 3 days a week; being too tired [but in a good way] to do anything on Sundays. lots of ideas for creative projects and no time or energy to implement them... etc etc.

my only goal for the next couple weeks is to start doing yoga again, & to make myself eat more actual meals. gotta get my energy and strength back up. i don't have an ED or anything, i'm just ADD & actually sitting down to eat a balanced meal is a whole thing. like, i snack, i drink protein shakes and eat nutrition bars, and i've never been actually clinically malnourished but meh. most of the time i'm just not hungry. and when i'm having anxiety like i have been lately i straight up can't eat anything except the most sensory-issue-friendly foods.
ready for the days we can just take a pill and get our nutrients. we're supposed to be living in the future, damn it. 

might venture downtown this weekend even if i'm tired. i've been craving cucumber kim chi like crazy & i need a date with my city. maybe even a beer outside a restaurant. i don't think i've ever done that by myself. that'd be nice. 

xo