I don't know what's wrong

I have everything I want everything I can possibly ask for and some how my silly little brain makes me think somethings wrong like somethings missing idk what's wrong with me. something about being happy isn't connecting in my brain. Like I have a steady relationship and a good job and both of those things make me feel so happy idk what to do it feels like I have so many things to say but there's never a time to say anything. I can't tell if im scared or something that things are going so well and I finally have a chance at being happy but I think im scared that im gonna lose it all I don't wanna lose my boyfriend at all I feel like im gonna screw it up. he saw me cry in person for the first time the other day and that was absolutely terrifying it felt so vulnerable I didn't mean to almost break his glasses I really didn't I felt so bad I didn't mean to do it. and he apologized I didn't want him to cause he didn't do anything wrong I don't wanna cry in front of him again cause I don't want him to apologize for me being stupid he doesn't need to. He's everything to me and I never wanna lose him I just wanna be in his arms forever.