on dental hygiene

i have never been a particularly dentally hygenic person. i pride myself on only ever having one cavity, but my teeth are perpetually yellowed and it took me the better part of 4 years to get my braces off in school days. don't even get me started on orthodontistry, an industry i still believe is made exclusively of sadists. it's hard to love a crooked yellow grin, but when i look at the insanely straight robot teeth coming out of hollyweird, i get a little closer to accepting my chompers. (yes, i recognize that this is something kids book characters worry about. i am fine with that.)