10/22/22

a lot happening recently. boyfriend is slowly getting better but his sciatica/slipped disc/misaligned spine or whatever is happening [we'll know for sure Monday] is still totally fucked. but he's able to walk and take care of himself a bit now, and he's not in constant pain, so that's a massive improvement. watching him be so miserable was truly unbearable.

my back was messed up for a while from taking care of him [cue Benny Hill music] but i took last week slow and last weekend off of coding and i feel fine now. i feel like i'm making good progress w/ coding finally; like not having to look as many things up/figuring things out faster, etc. and i'm finally ready to start level 2 of my Korean lessons tomorrow!

as far as social anxiety and a social life [or lack thereof], i didn't block everyone from back home but i discreetly took them off my followers... that way, since they already can't see my stories and i hardly ever make posts, they won't notice for a long time- and when they do they'll prob assume they unfollowed, feel weird, and therefore just leave me alone. lmao i'm petty and passive idc. i literally haven't talked to these ppl in years and i don't know how to navigate modern adult relationships blahBLAH i've run this into the ground MOVING ON...
the point is it's time to make new friends. to that end, i've discovered a little scene of future-funk and vaporwave artists- i think when boyfriend is better that might be the easiest way to meet people. terrified bc we haven't been in a scene in  f o r e v e r  but also excited to experience nightlife as an adult [literally stopped going out when i turned 21] &&& maybe finally make some new friends for both of us. 

for now we're both just doing our best to get into a light exercise routine/stay healthy and make plans for 2023. it's gonna be our year.

anyway, last chore of the day- do a quick clean of my room and brush the carpet. yes, we have to brush the carpet. it's cheap and shitty and we didn't vacuum for a long time so all the hair just gets stuck. ugh. just gotta remind myself how pretty it's gonna look when i'm done. and that i'll get weed and candy and Kpop music videos as a reward. from myself. :]

-an unusually productive & positive

stella