Introduction.

A young man stands in his room. It just so happens that today, April 11th, is his birthday. Though it was 14 years ago that he was given life, he is only just now being given a name!

What will the title of this young man be?

> Enter name.

Whatever you put, the young man is very displeased. 

> Try again.

There we go, he likes that one. 

> Continue.

Your name is DIRK/ZED, no LAST NAME. Stay safe on the internet, kid. You have a variety of INTERESTS, as well as DISINTERESTS. You have a passion for DRAWING. You also like HORROR MOVIES, and TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS. Sometimes, you like to PLAY VIDEOGAMES. 

> What about your disinterests?

Oh god. Your DISINTERESTS. You don't have many, but whatever you DISLIKE you DISLIKE hard. You don't like BIGOTTED PEOPLE. You also don't like TEXTURES like SOFT PASTA, COTTON, and TISSUE. You have SENSORY ISSUES. 

> Can I talk to you?

Of course you can talk to this young man! You love talking to new people, and making new friends. You like talking to people who show interest in HOMESTUCK, HANNIBAL, and FORENSICS. But you also enjoy talking to people who have DIFFERENT INTERESTS. As long as you're nice, this young man doesn't care.

> End. . .