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leading up..

leading up to absolute chaos.

after going through the worst thing to ever happen to me, 
i spiraled a little bit. an old friend reached out to me one night
asking me to come out to this party.. which i did. i wanted to 
numb all of the pain i was still dealing with and just enjoy
myself around some friends. the party was exactly what i 
needed at the time to just cut loose and forget about everything.

this old friend and i ended up hooking up and hanging out a
few more times.. but nothing ever came from that. we both just
wanted to hookup and leave it at that. i was in no shape ready
for any type of serious relationship or any relationship in
general at this point.

all i wanted to do was numb all of my pain.
the mental pain was the absolute worst.

this blog will be one of my shorter ones due to this story not
being much relevance to what's about to come.

there was another hookup after hooking up with my old
friend and we ended up hanging out alot and spending
alot of time together. i really wish i would have just stopped
at this point because after the second hookup i would
meet the person who absolutely destroyed me even more.

let's all keep in mind i'm still in my senior year of highschool 
with all of this going on. i'm now 17. 

tomorrow's blog will be part 1 of however many parts it's
going to take to share what's to come next. there's alot.
i'll be breaking it up into parts because i don't want
to be writing for hours and hours.. and trust me, it would
take me hours to write about everything.

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