I’m Tired of Being Alone Pt 2.

I’m finna be mad vulnerable to you rn and I’m not even sure if I should be yet, but here goes: 📝

I spend and have spent a lot of time alone and I honestly hate it at this point in my life. From growing up an only child, to loving with my aunt and being serverly misunderstood, relationships with men, even to now and having a child, I’ve spent a lot of time alone. It hasn’t been on purpose or anything. Doesn’t matter if I’m a villain or a good person. It’s always the same. The ex that hurt me  probably the most, legit told me I was the best girlfriend I had ever had and it’s their fault they were a terrible boyfriend. The way I’m told that by every ex that I’ve ever had, except for the one who I call “genetic contributor” to my son. Like I’m tired of being told that. Why does it always end in me, alone, crying somewhere, because I’ve been single the majority of my adult life. I just want someone to love me right. I’m tired of cycling through different men every month. It’s not fun and it hasn’t been for a really long time. I’m just stuck here and I’m starting to feel like there’s nothing out there for me anymore and there never has been… depressing  it that’s what it is… I’m disappearing again…