theyve got machines to keep us alive

i believe it might be time to start going a little more insane. idk how to do that or if im even going to end up doing anything but it feels right. live fast die young kinda thing, maybe skip the die young tho.

song of the day: tomorrows money by mcr

i played my bass for the first time in a while and just like every time that happens i am in the mood to play more. that being said it is sitting in its case in the corner of my room. 

therefore

in order to achieve peak marceline the vampire queen status i need to first finish cleaning my room so that when i look to that corner i see my bass rather than a bunch of clutter. 

holy fuck i wish i had the amount of motivation to practice and create music that my brother does. i always used to get mad at him because he would be constantly playing guitar no matter what we were doing but looking back he really found something to be passionate about

that being said i definitely dont lack passion but while his is focused on a single thing that he has basically mastered my passion is for knowledge and experience. which means i am the type to become average at everything i attempt while never following through to the point of becoming advanced let alone mastering. bass is a bit of an outlier because although i constantly fall out of practice bass and music in general has been my consistent #1 hobby to fall back into so it just works out that picking my bass back up and progressing back to my peak takes less than a week and i might even be able to go a little further before i forget about it again.

i started playing music at 12 and now im 20 so really ive been a bass player for 40% of my life. i considered myself above average when i was younger but then exposing myself to so much new and more advanced kinds of music has made me realize i am actually just average with a lot of potential. 

honestly now that im thinking about it i think that picking up music at least half as intensely as my brother and a lot of my other friends could turn me into a well above average musician and the potential experiences that come along with that could very well make my current "live faster than average" turn into straight up live fast without even worrying about dying young. 

still not sure about dying young because its hard to imagine my life past 30 or 40 but my only options are to deal with it until it starts making sense or be done with it before i ever have to experience it. in any case dying young to me at this moment is dying in my 40s.

im gonna leave the die young part out of live fast die young and just focus on how im going to pick up the pace. i got the zoomies after all and i just need to find myself a nice little mouse to put my enegry into catching.