Issues W Friends(rant)

I just left a server with my friends because it was causing me a lot of mental distress and I feel like a lot of the friendships I made there are over. I want to join back because even though I say I want to be alone, I cant stand it. But I know if I join back I will yet again be under a lot of mental stress and physical stress. I want to make friend but Im too scared to reach out to people. I dont know whats going to happen