EVIL MORNING ROUTINE FOR SCHOOL

GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL ON AN EVIL MORNING CAN BE DIFFICULT AND INSANE. AS AN EVIL CREATURE FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE BOG, I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL. HERE ARE MY EVIL TIPS TO HELP YOU PREPARE FOR EVIL SCHOOL IN THE MORNING.

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1. PREPARE YOUR HYGIENE

ALL EVIL PEOPLE SHOULD BE GROSS AND DISGUSTING. MAKE SURE TO SHOW HOW EVIL YOU ARE BY COVERING YOURSELF IN GARBAGE AND RAW SEWAGE. I FIND THAT THE MOST DISGUSTING DIABOLICAL GARBAGE IS IN THE SOUL. BUT REGARDLESS, ANY TRASH WILL DO.

2. EVIL AFFIRMATIONS

I'VE MENTIONED EVIL AFFIRMATIONS BEFORE, BUT I CAN'T STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE. AFFIRMING YOUR EVILNESS IS THE KEY TO TRUE EVIL. I RECCOMEND SITTING IN FRONT OF A MIRROR AND REPEATING "I AM EVIL. I AM EVIL. I AM EVIL." OVER AND OVER AGAIN, FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR BEFORE CONTINUING YOUR ROUTINE.

3. GATHER YOUR MATERIALS

IN ORDER TO ATTEND EVIL SCHOOL, YOU MUST PROPERLY GATHER YOUR EVIL MATERIALS. THESE INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: EVIL WEAPONS, SCHEMES, AND YOUR SECRET TRAPS (IN CASE YOU NEED TO PERFORM A DIABOLICAL ACT OF TRAPPERY). TO GATHER THESE DEVILISH ITEMS, YOU MUST CLIMB THE PERILOUS PEAK OF DEVILISHNESS. THIS MUST BE PERFORMED ONCE A DAY, OR ELSE YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ATTEND EVIL CLASS.

4. BOARD THE STRUGGLE BUS

IF YOU ARE CONFUSED BY THE LACK OF FUELING, EVIL CREATURES DO NOT EAT IN THE MORNING, HENCE THE NAME OF THE BUS. IN ORDER TO BOARD THE STRUGGLE BUS, YOU WILL NEED TO SOLVE SIX INFERNAL RIDDLES THAT INCREASINGLY GROW MORE DIFFICULT. THE LAST RIDDLE IS AS FOLLOWS: "SO AN OLD MAN, 980 YEARS AGO, KNOCKED ON THE OLD WELLINGTON PIPE. WHAT DID HE DO AFTERWARDS?" IF YOU CAN SOLVE THIS, YOU WILL HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THE OTHER FIVE. GOOD LUCK.

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YOU ARE DONE. PLEASE REMEMBER TO LEAVE KUDOS. I NEED THEM IN ORDER TO SURVIVE

-EVILEVIL24