.trust no one.

all these people. is it really worth it? 

do you really want to be friends? 

oh hey! we have the same interest! how cool is that! where are you from? oh really? me too! do you want to hang out sometimes? here's my phone number. oh wow, we are such a good friends, we really are. 

we should hang out even more. 

i really like you. 

you like me too? 

do you want to make out?

 let's go on a date.

i really like you.. oh wait.. you're depressed? you have mental health problems? i'm not good enough for you? you're not happy because i'm your partner? do you even like me? 

you don't. (but i really like you)

they leave. they always do. and you can't really blame them who would want to hang out with a wreck? an empty body who just exists, is not being alive.

do you blame them? at first yes. you do. i hate them. how dare they make me like this. but then (you know it's unavoidable) you blame yourself you hate yourself even more every day.

 every hour.

 every minute.

every second. 

we're back to the usual. no one by my side. just me and 4 walls.sadness is taking over. 

suicide? sounds good. who would care? not them for sure.. 

there's no one left for you in this world. 

"but maybe.." stop being ridiculous. no one is interested in your existence. 

do it. 

and from that moment there's 2 endings. 

death. sounds good for me. 

but you failed. so close. pills inside my stomach along with straight vodka. cuts on my wrists, blood on the cold bathroom floor. just you and the blade. the thoughts are slowly fading away, along with your non alive life. but then you woke up. still alone. still sad. with no one by your side. 

you try to live. try to move on. 

"oh hey!" ...

- xo whatever