Body Dysmorphic and Disappointment

March 19, 2022

Pale legs painted with

gake tan

Bleached, fried hair ~ lifeless of vibrancy and dull colored roots;

freckled, green eyes

for how I wish they were blue.

Everything that I am, 

I wish — I yearn — for something different,,,

better.

Magazines are not the root cause of my body disappointment 

I was inspired to become better

by a family that weighed me down with insults like lead of the family stone 

I must be something I'm not 

to earn the respect I deserve.

The family stone has never protected me;

they were my first bullies.

Tormentors that live inside my home —

Rent free inside my head.

Their voices echoing across my cerebral cortex.

I developed internally with everything that is wrong with me etched across my weaken spine

I matured knowing that I could be better 

And it came with great disappointment to know that my attempts failed.