Want to be pure

I’ve found out that I am addicted to feeling pure.  The type of pure that is found in a child.  Ever since I was fourteen i’ve had this obsession with trying to regain my childhood.  I wasn’t prepared to be a teenager, I’m not prepared to be an adult.

This obsession has lead me down the path of what some consider an eating disorder.  I only fill myself with what I consider pure.  

I only drink water and tea, specifically Oolong tea.

I eat baby snacks as they will keep me as pure as a baby.

I try to avoid meats, they’re bloody and impure to me.

I love all fruits and vegetables, for what God put onto this Earth for us to eat must be pure.

Occasionally I will treat myself to a childhood dessert; like ice cream or scones.

Feeling lightheaded makes me feel euphoric.  Every time I have a bowel movement I can feel the impurities leaving me.

My impulses to binge or eat things impure are sins to me.

Anything that keeps me away from that childhood lightness is a sin.