WHY AM I SO EMOTIONAL OVER A DREAM???

CONTEXT

my mum miscarried before she had me so i never got to meet my sibling and i ended up being an only child.

THE DREAM

I had a dream where I found an old montage of clips of me and my non existant older brother when we were younger (in this fucked up dream world he was alive but died when i was 9.) HE WAS SUCH A LEGEND!! There were little clips of him entertaining me as a baby and stuff and i was so happy. 

I told litterally everybody i knew even my mum like "I FOUND A VIDEO OF ME AND MY BROTHER". BUT NOBODY WAS AS EXCITED AS ME. I WAS SO EXCITED!! In the dream he canonically gets some kind of leg disease and gets his leg amputated but dies of complications a few months later. 

AFTER THE DREAM

I woke up: crying

stood at my bus stop: crying

walked into school: crying

me now: crying

I AM QUITE LITTERALLY MOURNING OVER SOMEONE WHO NEVER EXISTED!! THIS IS THE LEVEL OF LONELINESS I HAVE REACHED.

When i was younger i felt really lonely without any siblings, i litterally told the woman who runs my anxiety group that im over it the other day but holy shit, this dream changed everything.

I am a disaster