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Category: Life

Am I On Your Mind? (My life thoughts/events) 1

Ever since this one dude broke up with me One big question, I've had keeping me up at night is does he ever think of me? we've only dated for a day because he had personal problems. I don't blame him. it would be too much stress to handle. this happened before the end of the school year. I thought about him all summer, how he was doing, what he is doing but what I wondered the most was if he still cared for me...or if he ever did care. i hoped, and still do that he does. I get over things pretty quick, like a few of my past relations. they were so easy. I guess it's the connection and actual chemistry that I didn't have with them. 

but he is different. i feel so many emotions when I look at him. like a rush through my body. and the urge to just run away or hide while at the same time i want to hug him and tell him I like him and care for him and that i will always be there... so when this year started my stomach was flipping inside out. i wanted to see him but yet I didn't. it's weird. and it's hard to keep that I still have something for him from my friends is getting harder each day. litterly like I'm playing a game with that one unbeatable level. 

he apologized to me at breakfast, it went like

"Hey, I'm sorry, I feel like I owe you an apology I did you wrong last year..."

"Oh no its fine, you had're okay now, right?"

"yeah" he nodded. I then rushed off. I was happy though....cus that meant he was thinking about me. and that he cared enough to apologize.  

I cry a few times. a few days ago, I cried to the point I was red, and my eyes were sore and bloodshot. one of those breakdowns where you do the most, were it takes about more than an hour for all the red to go away. even so my energy made everyone else in a vile mood. kind of cringe now. but said hi to him in the hallway today he waved back...planning on talking to him more. idk I just want to have some type of connection with him, even if we can't be together. I don't want to lose him.

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