the qualms i had with my "+ex-boyfriend"

i'm still pissed about how my friends would always try to get me with my guy friend. i always vented about him on here. i was really happy during the first few days of this school year because they weren't trying to pair me with him. we had gotten together back and forth the year before, and they knew what kind of monster they had helped create lmao!

last year during the last several days of school, i lied to cody when he asked me if i was with anyone and told him i had a boyfriend. my friends thought this was very wrong of me. the boy would likely never have stopped trying to get with me. i don't feel even the least bit bad.

he asked me how my relationship was going during lunch today, and i broke the truth to him. he went through the entire summer thinking that i had a boyfriend. he even told me he thought a lot about me during the summer.

i noticed that cody started to catch feelings for my other friend after about the third week of school, and i was relieved to know that he was finally moving on from me. i will admit that it was a little jarring to not have anyone walk me to the bus after such a long time. my friend pulled me aside and revealed that cody told her he liked her. he, of course, asked if they could possible be together in the future. she said "probably not."

he would always ask me that after i broke up with him. the last time i broke up with him, he asked me if we could be together sometime in the future, and i told him no.

he also asked my other friend out. both of my friends were understandably uncomfortable with this. i confronted him on snapchat and told him that if he's only sitting with us because he wants to find a girlfriend, then he can sit somewhere else. he can't really read, so i remind him that when we came back to school on monday.

i am relieved that cody is no longer a major stressor in my life. my mom always brings him up during one of our fights when she compares me to my dad. she talks over MY experiences and says that i DID love him even when i told her i realized i never did, because i would always say "i love you" to him when i called him. those words really mean nothing to me. words don't mean much too much. actions are what speaks to me. i will never feel bad for cody because of his consistence of trying to get back with me. if that makes me a narcissist, then so be it.

either way, cody is still my best friend. we work much better as friends than as a couple. i tell him things i don't tell my other friends. i vent to him and i help him however i can. he can be very funny purely by the words he says. i appreciate the fact that i have him in my life. i really hope he doesn't try to get back with me ever again. though, after he got rejected by my second friend, he found me and told me that i "looked great," which is something he hadn't told me since we were last dating. so, i hope that doesn't add up to anything.

i still am so thankful that i don't have to dread coming to school every day thinking that he'll try to get with me or my friends will try to play cupid. it just feels like a big brick being lifted off of my shoulder. not every girl and boy who are friends are meant to be together. i could say that a million times over.