im feeling not good again

my brain is doing its usual thing where it makes me think everyone hates me and is leaving again and now im scared and crying in bed unless im sleeping I don't wanna be here. I rlly like my bf but now I just think im fucking him up im trying my best I haven't done anything but there's always something wrong. I can see myself doing everything with him everything I do I wanna do with him by my side but I don't want to hurt him or fuck shit up I just want it to be good all I want is something good but here I am sitting crying writing this cause ik this is all gonna hurt a lot more one day.