gringo ( and life.)

my last entry was about him. I havent been to school. i showed up last monday and tuesday but never made it past 6th period (hes in my 8th period) we've texted but not much. my and my girlfriend (of over a year) and i got into an arguement because i posted a story on my PRIVATE instagram account CLOSE FRIENDS story (it said "is it crazy or weird that i just manifested a specific person?") i didnt even specify who but she gets jealous easily (shes been hurt too many times in the past. the last thing i was to do is hurt her.) the arguement was also about another close friends story i posted saying "i hope she realizes that i cant control how i feel" and some other shit that doesnt come to mind at the moment. She said she didnt want to talk about him or anything involving him anymore so i stopped texting. (that was right before i posted the second story) i get where shes coming from but i told her i was poly a while back. she said she was okay with it. I cant control how i feel. I wish i could. Its not my fault im attracted to him. I honestly wish i wasnt. maybe i do have daddy issues,, and i just want male validation. Who knows. i might be adding another story about him soon. (today) its a good one. i promise. 

-aboynamedkaz