day three (definitely venty)

howdy folks. today was great (minus the slight cold) until i got home.

for context on the ENTIRE situation:

im trans (ftm, transmasc, afab trans man, whatever wording floats ur boat) and my cousin is a FIERCE ally, through thick and thin. my mom, in every way i can put, is a bigot. needless to say, my cousin and my mom dont have a good relationship. they met to start to try and set boundaries a few months back, but my mom "doesnt believe in boundaries" (as fucked as it sounds) and it went HORRIBLY.

my cousin as of late has been having problems w her mom that concern my mother (my aunt and mom are very close) and now my moms been threatening to look through my phone and thinks im lying abt having no contact w my cousin (she has not spoken to me since and i havent spoken to her because we realized it threatens our safety). so yeah, im not too pleased, especially since its kinda rubbing in that my mom hates the non-idealized me fundamentally no matter how much she lies and says she doesnt because shes stuck in her own self aggrandized fantasy world where trans people are supervillains who want people to become cyborgs and not just people who mind their business. 

ive been having a hard time mentally lately and this isnt helping, hopefully my weekly group therapy will let me talk abt the fact i feel like ive been slowly losing my mind. i never finished that ap piece. at least i started it last night.

any advice is appreciated, if anyone even reads these. thanks.