burnout paradise, my beloved

i am a big fan of burnout paradise....... very very big fan. i have been playing since i was five, wherein i kept beating the demo so i begged my father he buy the full game. and boy, lemme tell ya, i played the full game.

i have, for a multitude of reasons (ps3's blowing up, getting remastered edition, getting remastered edition but on the pc, playing it again on a different pc) beaten or got really close to beating the game about 7 times. i have probably sunk thousands of hours into this game. burnout paradise was the cause of my first all-nighters as a child, wherein i would get so sucked in that i would not realise morning had arrived until my parents came downstairs and asked "hey so uh, did you sleep?". it is the cause for my music taste, no doubt, as well as the reason why i am able to memorise the streets of cities i live in as well as i can.

you see, burnout paradise is an open-world racer, wherein even the races are open world. except for in specific online races and in the island dlc races, the only instruction for an event is "reach this destination first/without dying" or "reach this score however way you wish". there are 8 finish points on the main map, one for each cardinal direction and their inbetweens. events begin at any stop-light. just reach the intersection and begin a burnout. the events are- races, self-explanatory; stunt runs, do tricks to achieve scores and combos; road rages, destroy a certain amount of opponents' cars; marked man, survive to a finish point; and burning routes, timed challenge so that you can achieve the alternate of each car.
and speaking of cars, there are a lot. there's about 80 in the base game, two online-specific cars, four bikes, and a bunch more dlc cars that are alternates of the base cars in some way (mini toy cars, cop versions, etc.) with a neat gimmick.

the big part about burnout paradise though, and burnout as a whole, is the destruction. especially for such an old game, it has GREAT destruction for cars. they can get bent and twisted and have bits fall off all over the place. whenever you crash or take someone down, you get a slow-mo cam of that sweet, crunchy destruction. taking someone down also gives you boost.

oh yeah, the driving physics. in short- insane. there is no speedo. only ui is a map, a boost bar, and what street you're on. the cars accelerate infinitely, with the shifting being reminiscent of the fast and furious with their 52-gear gearboxes. also, drifting is such a satisfying experience, as you just glide along the street or dirt or railroad or air. speaking of air, you can get lots of it. you can jump off ungodly heights, and your car keeps on truckin. you can do barrel rolls, flatspins, or even both!
there are also lots of shortcuts all over the place. they can be used for a competitive edge during events (especially since ai never use them unless pushed into the shortcuts), or to reach a collectible jump or billboard (or even both!(or even all three!!!)).
the map in general is well-thought out and memorable. every bit and bob is unique about it, and it has some neat landmarks... and not just landmarks like in the crew or something, but landmarks you can drive through and commit shenanigans. there's a docked aircraft carrier you can drive through, a dirt figure-eight track in the middle of nowhere, the bridge to the dlc island that's under construction and you can fuck with, a ski jump you can get mad air on, lakes you can jump across, train tracks a level above the road you can jump into, and so much more.

the entire feel of the game is just... fun. the soundtrack has hit and alt rock songs (avril lavigne, seether, killswitch engage, alice in chains, soundgarden, to name a few) from the 90s and 00s, techno music from the prior games, and also classical music.... yes, you can commit carnage upon a million cars while sipping wine along to chopin and mozart. also, the whole cars list is fictional. it is because of this that the cars are so destructible, because there is no brand licensing to hold criterion games down with.

then there's a bunch more fun little side things you can do. set time records on each street, set destruction records on each street, a variety of online modes (normal events, cops and robbers, stunt and speed challenges, etc.), the aforementioned collectibles, and some more.

quite frankly, in my 14 years of playing, i have never gotten bored, and i don't see myself getting bored any time soon... i mean, i just played a ten-hour session. if anyone would like to play this fun little game, lemme know. would love to be able to get the online challenges done haha.