As a cultist you'll never be enough.

During my time in the cult, there was a short list of programmed responses for every question or problem.

If you are having any kind of problem, especially concerning mental health or any normal social or familial problem that every human eventually has to deal with, there is a phrase that is sure to be used just before your problem is dismissed:

"Not enough."

That's the answer to everything. whatever you are dealing with is your fault because: "You're not trusting God enough, you're not committed enough, you're not doing enough, you're not giving enough, you're not serving enough. you're not reaching out enough. you're not open enough, you're not donating enough, you're not studying enough, you're not praying enough...

...you're not enough."

That's what they don't tell you when you're recruited. Everyone is focused on you, love-bombing you, making you feel like you're the most interesting person in the room. Everyone loves you just the way you are and can't get over how awesome you are. Then when you join, that shine wears off and it all starts again with a new person.

But nobody ever told you then that you're not enough. You'll never be enough.

From that point on, you'll only be a resource to be exploited. Any any time you're not being cooperative, you'll be reminded you're not enough, and look at everything they've done for you and you're not giving enough in return. Shut up and get back in line.