Deep thoughts on my everyday life

Where to start, I've been thinking a lot that has happened with this year with Covid and all. Like for example having to do the right thing for my marriage... I keep telling myself to push and never give up for my son sake, I know its hard and its not a thing of roses or a walk in a park, but i feel like Im giving my all when my husband isn't giving any it seems.. I gave up seeing and doing things with my friends that are moms why because my son is the priority, but to my husband his friends and drinking and playing pool is more important than his family.. I noticed here lately he tells me oh you need to be more stern or discipline our son better well heres the thing i don't want to lose my son or let my son down which i feel like i do when he fights with me on a solid answer no why?? I mean he just started school and i don't want dss called on me for doing the right way of discipline. Second i should lose weight well im sorry but the last i checked im on birth control and i dont eat much as it is because i know how i look and i dont like it but come on why do you have to be so blunt with the truth im trying but its hard i eat healthy i dont drink all i do is see about my son and makes sure he is eating healthy and is happy...