bedroom walls (~3,400)

the lesser of the big, bright city

the smallest town you've ever been

everyone out there still enjoys life

more than me

how do you have fun with nowhere to run

and nothing to do

i am surrounded, in your eyes, by all these wealthy avenues

big lights, people, a population bigger than 3,300

and i know nothing outside my bedroom walls

i must be so ungrateful to of lived everywhere bright

and share it with nobody

in your forty-minute walk of a town

i finally see all how much time i've wasted

years spent thinking i shouldn't feel this way

when there are people worse-off than me

i see the truth, and i feel guilt.

you all live more, and better, than i ever did

within these bedroom walls i've taught myself

a thought process i couldn't break until your minimal lights

they would reassure me in their silence that it was all in my head

the walls are still standing, you're breathing in your sleep,

you're okay.

people who i've thought would hate themselves more than i

love each other more than anyone has loved me

more than i've loved me. they've lived normally. grown the way

i thought i was supposed to, and just never did.

and that's why i cannot trust my bedroom walls tonight.