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HELP

ok, this is gonna be shit cause I don't know how the hell to write on of these but I need help asap. ok so this girl, right? I've know her for about 7 years and we've been friends for a while or whatever, y'know. and then like a few days ago she said she liked me over text. and it was last minute and I wanted to be cool about it so I just said that I liked her back. but I don't think we're dating? cause its kinda just gone unsaid. and she keeps referring to me as her "crush" not like her bf or anything so i'm pretty sure its not official. but now she's saying stuff like she's "in love w/ me" and shit (still over text) so I was like "oh, ok, cool. I love you too". problem is i'm not sure I actually like her. I have a hard time telling the difference between romantic feelings and platonic feelings for some reason. idk why. I mean, I know its kinda stupid and lame but I've always just kinda just had a problem w/ it. and people are always like "well does this person make you feel happy" or "do you think about kissing them" stuff like that. and I mean yeah, I have, but I've thought about kissing all my friends at least once. and maybes that's weird but idk. it just makes it even harder to tell if I actually like her. I mean I like that she likes me but I don't really think I could really be w/ her long term or anything. which is also a problem cause we get along well. like maybe too well. but I couldn't see me being w/ her for more than a year. and if I was w/ her it would have to be a secret cause my dad is homophobic as hell (I'm tans masc) so it would have to be a secret anyway. which is why (even though I like them) I can't date girls. but I like guys too, and find them more attractive anyway, so I figured i'd get a boyfriend. but now this girl likes me. and like she's attractive but she doesn't give me those butterflies you get when you see a really cute person in like the mall or some shit and your just like "wow" y'know what I mean? which I feel like is something kinda important to feel y'know? like butterflies and shit. but I also feel bad for her, and like I said I like that she likes me. and maybe that's bad and i'm just a shit person but idk. I don't wanna lead her on or anything. pls help.

p.s. feel free to ask any questions. and sorry I say "shit" and "y'know" way too much. 


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Jules

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It's definitely frustrating just how difficult telling the lines of platonic and romantic affections can be. Trust me this is a very natural thing, and a lot more common than people think. Something that helps me tell between platonic and romantic is just thinking of what it'd be like as a committed relationship. It's always unhelpful when people say "well do you think about them kissing you?" or "do they make you happy?" because both of those can very much apply to friends! But trust me, dating people just because 'well, we're friends and they confessed so maybe it might work' isn't a good idea, I've gone through it multiple times and it just hurts both of you in the process. It'd be best to approach and talk to her about it and have clear communication. You deserve someone who will give you those butterflies, and so does she. If you can't imagine a long-term relationship with her then I don't think this would be the best decision for either of you. This is all from my personal experience though, so take it with a grain of salt. I wish you the best! Hope this was helpful.


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Yeah! this actually does help a lot, thank you! I appreciate it.

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