i woke up!

i have work in an hour and my coworker is picking me up to go get breakfast but i have to gently decline the action when i see her because my depressed ass didnt get paid so what do you think i did AGAIN i mean ALWAYS... i ordered stupid doordash with NOT MY MONEY how self titled am i right? ughhhhhhhh

i really want to stop using doordash as an escape to fix all my abandonment issues like when things get down i just want to be able to be like well fuck that shit go fucking look like a whore and go out in the city and go to a dive bar and hook up with a hot person lol CRAZY right? idk i have borderline personality disorder or whatever the fucking hospital tried to diagnosed me to get me out of their face im pretty sure they used my abortion as an excuse or a declaration of my illness which is HELLA GROSS but it is what it is until i have the energy to justify myself and the big boys you know?

ALSO i made a statement a clear one that this page is like mainly for my poetry but all i seem to be doing is expressing whats on the brain wave here and idk i sort of feel okay with that because nobody knows about this website like wtf is this? at first it looked like a website for borderline serial killers and 2009 emo motherfuckers and i mean cool dawg i have childhood trauma and i use to listen to screamo i guess i kinda fit in but other then that idk well it feels like im getting something out of this because i unfortunately cant recieve resources like therapy so and i honestly dont have the time or energy to just kill myself so yeah i fuck with this and i think im gonna stay true on here and clarify that i am probably going to do more of this and post my poetry ever so often!!!!! RAWR XD i have bad thoughts but good intentions!