A few thoughts. (tw/religion)

So, first off, I am Catholic. I see your cursor hovering over the unfriend button, but hear me out. I am Catholic, but I don't know. I'm confused. I'm at a crossroads and I don't know what to do.

I love Jesus. I love Mary. I love Joan of Arc and Catherine of Siena. They bring me joy, and peace, and comfort. They make me feel loved. I love going to Mass, and when the priest blesses me, it feels like a weight has been lifted. I feel new, and pure, like fresh fallen snow.

My boyfriend is an atheist. I care about him so much, and I'm deeply in love with him. He respects my beliefs, and I respect his. However, I won't lie when I say I worry about him. I feel like it's normal to worry about his soul, and so I pray for him frequently. He says it doesn't bother him, that he thinks it's sweet even, that I care so much about where he goes after life. But I do. I do care. Why wouldn't I? Would eternity even be worth it if he wasn't there?

Sorry, I know this entry is messy and discordant compared to my last entries, but this has been weighing on me. I've been praying on it frequently, and I hope that God will lead me to the right decision.