ranting online instead of going to therapy.....lol

firstly ill like to say i no longer react this way in situations. i have learned and grew from this. anyways ........ 

background..... i have known my friends for little over 2 years now we met online via the bootleg version of omegle-ome.tv. we know each other pretty good i guess. this friendships has it ups and downs but we all seem to get past it pretty good. but this one situation really stuck with the friend group and is now used against me in almost every convo. context( its a friend group of 3, me the girl and two boys) all around the same age group(16-18) we constantly speak to each other.  we are basically bestfriends. anyways  

we were all talking and playing game when suddenly a very controversial topic was brought up. RELIGION! specifically christianity now i am not a religious person, but one of the boys was kinda religious lets call him tim. we were talking about why i dont believe in "god" and i think my reasons are very vaild for example their thoughts on the lgbtq, the plain misogynistic mind set, and  how they created sick fucked up cult of people. moving forward.

of cause they both  questioned me. now the lgbtq part is very important next. 

the other boy lets call him val- val was homophobic but  i didnt really take it on untill he said something very homophobic. i never really understand why people are homophobic so i asked him... he didnt have a reasonable "excuse" i guess. so it got pretty heated and i said sum really mean stuff to him.. now tim was backing him up so i exploded on both on them. ATP we were all aruging about my morals on  christianity and the lgbtq. i exchanged some pretty mean  stuff too both of them. soon after they muted and called eachother. now these boys always try brush shit off so fast like WHAT. idk if thats a male THING but yeah. so i got more upset and left the call. i was raging so bad BRO. LMAOOOO

 i stopped talked to both of them for a while but then i started to speak to them again like 2 mths later. later on they both said i overreacted and said it wasnt a big deal. idk if i did but i think my anger was necessary. they both have always said i am a very mean person. constantly to this day they still do and bring that situation up. like they also say i am loud  and always feel i am right. ngl i was like that before but val always bring up my past and i hate it. even tho i am and HAVE changed alot since then. 

FAST FOWARD to last night...... we were talking about having kids and  i said i dont want any kids due to the fact you have  to  be mentally,phsically and most importantly financially ready, also your home and family environment has to be good uk. anyways one of vals friends said that you only dont want kids because they are eexpensive. he then went on to say the reason he wants kids is that like to have that emotional bond with the child. yeah he also made up some very shitty scenarios and tired to dum down my points..... now we were all just talking and making some points. and  later  on val said something targeted at me, "you all ways feel you right tho" and i was like no i was literally just talking. like why did this turn too this????? then val and his friend thought i got vex ( which i wasnt) i just stopped talking because i literally didnt say anything to make it seem like i am forcing my point on them. THEY LITERALY BOTH DICK RIDE EACHOTHER. i literally got upset at the fact they tried to make it seem like i was forcing my opinion. its literally annoying constantly being told i am acting upset or being the bad guy when i havent even acted out.

yes i would love some other pov of this situation.

idk if  i explained this  correctly but here it is lol. there is so much more to this story but its  7 am and i havent sleep because this is bothering me since last night lol. anyways how are you?