what is genshin and how did it impact you

Played the genshin 3.0 update today and only got as far as sumaru city before it very weirdly triggered a depressive spiral and I had to stop playing to have a big cry over things

super grateful for my friends being there to hear me out about my misery but I think I'll just avoid playing big open world games for a bit

I understand the use of gaming as a form of escapism but seeing wide open fields and lush forests and beautiful lakes ponds and oceans just makes me feel so

:(

It just makes me extra aware of how little freedom I really have at the moment

how little freedom I've had over the course of my entire life

and it doesn't make me incredibly hopeful for the future unfortunately

just dealing with a lot of feelings of  stuck I guess

I want to enjoy life and living and I want to have the freedoms any other adult on earth should have but I just happened to get slapped with neurodivergence and mental illnesses serious enough that it's seriously impacted my ability to function in a working society

and when you can't work you're all but worthless in the eyes of the powerful

I dunno

everything just feels bad right now and I can't foresee it feeling Better anytime soon