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TAGS: swearing, talking about people saying slurs.
so, if u do not know... im mixed. puerto rican and black to be specific.
and uhh.... people do really weird shit to me whenever i tell them what my race is or if they just assume what they think it is,, and its been pissing me off a lot for the past few years so im gonna talk about it.
so uhm... when i was younger i used to be really proud of myself for being mixed or whatever. whenever someone asked what i was, id always tell them cuz i never really uh... hated being what i was. but as i got older the stuff people did was starting to get annoying. i grew up in... a fairly mixed-race school. so it wasnt like i was surrounded with white people often, as it was only a minimum of 3 or 4 white kids in my classes.
a few of girls who i was friends with in fifth grade asked once, "hey, ur black right? so say the n-word for me?" i was uncomfortable. i don't like saying the n-word as i feel like it isnt my place to say it since im kinda lightskin, so i said "i dont really want to..." and they said, "oh well i guess you aren't black then. i dont hang out with people who aren't black". afraid of being dropped by someone i called a close friend at that time, i said it. i hated saying it. me and that person stayed being friends for a bit until they did something shitty. i still called them my friend after that, until yk school stopped.
after that situation, i really hated being mixed.
when i hung around certain friends, they would always pressure me into saying the n-word or hispanic slurs and yk,,, im not with that type of shit. overall, i felt really uncomfortable.
i don't know any spanish. well, i kinda understand it but i could not fluently speak it and i only could understand what people are saying by breaking down words. but i wouldnt know what they are entirely saying. whenever im with my cousins family, they always speak spanish and im the only one who doesnt know it. they make fun of me becuz i dont know what they r saying, and even my mother does. basically my whole spanish side of the family.
"oh i can't believe you don't know spanish. thats disappointing.".
it makes me feel like shit.
whenever im in school for example, i say silly things about hispanic people like "oh how i hate puerto ricans", as a puerto rican person i could say it. but i was with a friend and they were talking to another one of my friends, saying, "oh he doesn't claim his black side cuz he doesn't say the n-word or say those type of jokes." WHICH IS STUPID. it made me feel weird cuz i mean, i sure as well do claim my black side. i didn't really know how to do the yk,, handshake very well bcz no one did it with me, so when people tried doing it with me at school, they said, "oh i guess he's not really black cuz he doesn't know how to do the shake."
LIKE..... sigh.
they also keep doing that stupid thing where they think if i dont say a slur,, im not claiming my race LIKE WHAT??? whenever someone says, "why aren't you saying the n-word or the b-slur??"
i just want to strangle them /hj. its so stupid. why are people so obsessed over being able to say a slur?? and whenever i say no im not gonna say it, they start saying shit like,
"oh ur not black i guess..." or "why dont u say it, i wont tell anyone??"
like thats not the reason im not saying it becuz i dont want anyone to know or cuz im not black, its cuz I DONT WANT TO??? same goes with the b-slur. why would i even say that, its stupid. i dont understand why people want to hear that so badly.
tbh the whole reason i made this is cuz im tired of people saying that im not really whatever race, that im either too spanish or too black or not enough of either. im just tired ot it all. i hate being mixed. i feel like if i was either just specifically puerto rican or specifically black it would be easier and i wouldnt have to go through this shit.
idk thats all tbh i may update this w/ more shit later but ehh.. idk this took a long time.
Comments
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Red
Hey, fellow mixed kid here
I’ve went through such similar things
I can barely speak Spanish and people pressure me to say slurs all the time.
I’m 50% white and 50% Black and Hispanic
I’ve been called half monkey, half slave, darkwhite, ‘N.I.G’, albino, albino monkey, half beaner, ‘nigcracker’,
Just say it!! *”What?! She can’t say it.”
You’re not alone, I’m in Highschool now and ever since the start of freshman year I’ve been called countless names. We can only stand up for ourselves, you’re no more or lessblack or Hispanic than you are and u r absolutely enough.
I never say it, my dad generally doesnt say it or over use it, it’s about your own comfort. U gotta stand up for yourself! Each racial identity has their own experience tied to it, but mixed people have a separate experience from full race/mixed ethnicity people.
We gotta have eachothers backs. People will always be judgmental and uneducated, even if it feels like the world is against u, power thru! Friend me.
Don’t feel like you need to learn how to dap to “be black.” That’s bullshit. But go in for a sideways high-five, slide your hand back towards you a bit and then grasp.
THE ▌ᴀᴛҠӀИԌ▐ OF SPACEHEY
tbf that seems soo shitty of them! "if u dont want to say black slurs you ain't black!" is totally missing the point of what a slur even is!!`A′