I always have a voice in my head that is determined to do me harm and another voice that wants to protect me ,, the first will tell me I’m not skinny enough and I need to fast for the day but the other will beg me to go eat.
I don’t understand why I can’t control it better when I know logically what the problem is and logically how to solve it but i can’t.
I really don’t want other ppl to be affected by my personal ED but it’s so hard to hide it and I know it makes ppl worried and upset
I went to measure my waist yesterday and burst into tears before I could wrap the tape around bc I was so scared it would be a number i wasn’t happy about , but the thing is like im never happy with the number. The measuring tape or scale can say anything and I’ll still think it’s too much ,,
I put so much self worth on being skinny that it’s making me not care about anything including my health anymore, I just want to be so so small
I don’t want to post this bc fear of judgement and it’s tmi and triggering to a lot of people but I just had to get this out a least a lil
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