blah blah running my mouth till i vomit

I fathom having the indulgence to admit this, but I am slightly afraid of romance even though I have reasons not to be. While some people are properly attractive in my eyes, one who may imagine others in a certain situation; an unnoticed coping mechanism that controls your mind from noticing you being habilitating alone, or you simply haven't received a healthy amount of love in your life. You adapt to a state of disassociation by creating scenarios in your mind that constructs people in your view to make up your lost love. I am envious of the magnetic presence of people who fit those standards. They're not cheap flavors or just a mockery of the last. Its intriguing, prior to feeling the adrenaline of dating being asexual makes a part of me think I'm aromantic as well? Dating to me is simply an abstract of an idea, being so connected to someone you both can agree on your own parts along with it measures up solitude and togetherness, but satisfaction controls the hunger of wants and empty praise can only keep you going for so long, one day you will starve.