idek anymore

had the worst 21st birthday that i could've asked for. ever since my multiple breakdowns and meltdowns throughout the night of my birthday, ive been convinced that im not even 21. time has moved, things have happened, my body has changed... i definitely gone through stuff and new experiences and memories but... im... 15 years old. i just am... i cant... im not.. 21..? i dont know. gonna have a talk with my therapist finally later today- (its currently 1 am as im writing this) im not surprised at myself honestly.